Date like a woman think like a man book review

I have just skim read the book ‘Date like a woman think like a man’ by Steve Harvey. It could be considered ‘The Game’ for women. In that case, I believe it could be considered a good thing. However, I don’t think it would actually work. Now, if you were to actually write the game when for women, it would be a really short book. It would go something like this “marry young, lose weight, be affectionate“. This however would not sell and would not get a huge film deal. So this book has been padded at and am filled with crap. Some of it would actually work. However, there are some basic problems with the methods involved.

Main concept: use of affection as a tool to get the men to do things that you want him to do (primarily to commit).

One of the main concepts of the book is that women give up sex too easily, and therefore men are not willing to work for it. Now this kind of sounds like the same PUA concept of getting a woman to invest and therefore be more committed to you. Sometimes this will work. Its a pretty well-known fact that once a man has slept with a woman the first time his motivation to do it again is considerably lower. It’s like there is this very special kind of novel value to the first time you sleep with a woman.

However in practice, I don’t think this will work as well as is suggested. The problem is value. A relationship will only last if both partners have a similar value and no amount of withholding sex or affection is actually going to raise a woman’s value. Actually it is more likely to lower it since the man will find her cold and calculating.

This approach works primarily as a filtering method, rather than a method of raising your value. For example, one of the main premises in the book is the you should make a man wait 90 days before sleeping him. Now if a man does wait 90 days he defiantly commit, but the chances are he has no other options (chances are, he probably wouldn’t get laid in 90 days anyway). However high value men (you know the men women actually want to commit to them) are going to have other women who will sleep with him. So she going to lose her chance at wooing him.

This process would actually work to help a woman get commitment, but the way it works is by lowering the women’s standards. She would no longer be dating the players who are never going to settle down with her so she wouldn’t be wasting her time on them. However, she also wouldn’t have the shot at impressing the higher value guys who are looking for commitment. What this system has effectively done has filtered out all of the good guys and left her with a low value men, who would be desperate to commit. Seeing as most women overvalue themselves in the dating market. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it also isn’t the fairy tale the book is selling. They might as well, just bring out a book that says start dating ugly, poor and unconfident men. This would have the same effect.

To make the comparison to the PUA teaching again, this is the same as suggesting he learns all the tricks to fake value without actually putting any work in to improve himself. So learning things like pickup lines, negs and so on. Without actually learning how to improve themselves, or learn how to make a woman happy. These types of PUAs who can sleep with a really hot women but can never have a relationship with one.

Why do married men live longer?

The point that married men on average live longer than their unmarried counterpart has been brought out multiple times as an argument for two different things firstly people who are pro marriage and think that the point that men are more and more opting out of institution is a bad thing and secondly as an argument pro feminism (i.e. men are stupid and need women). I think this is an interesting phenomenon and have my own theory on it.

Firstly let men clarify what I believe to be the generally accepted explanation.

Women look after their man.

I believe the generally accepted concept is that a man without a women to keep him on the straight and narrow will drink too much, eat junk food, never get any exercise, probable start smoking weed, then crack and so on. The concept being that a woman in a man life will nag him to healthiness, cook him healthy meals, keep him from going to the bar every night. I doubt this is true, just the figures suggesting that after marriage both men and women start to put on weight suggest to me that whatever benefit women bring in cleaning up their lifestyle they add in general nagging stress and pressure to earn more at work, direct or indirect.

Here is my hypothesis:

Men who get married have a reason to live.

So this is a complicated one but hear me out. There is a fundamental difference in way women and men value themselves. Women are born and taught to have an inherent basic value, as the bottleneck of reproduction women are inherently more valuable than men. They are more valued without having to do anything. Women need to know this on a base animal level. So at the point that a ship goes down they have to be willing to jump in the lifeboat and leave their husbands to die. For the survival and success of our species on base level we have needed socially and biologically to value women more than men. This is why men have always been the primary people going to war, in a generation you could lose 90% of you men and the 10% left could impregnate the women and couple of generations later your population would be thriving. Lose 90% of you women and that tribe is probable never going to recover.

So where women have an inherent value, men value themselves by what they do.  They value themselves based on your jobs, their role as a father as a husband. A man who is married is much more likely to feel in his later year that he has a purpose to live. That he need to continue to look after his wife or take care of grandchildren. A married man automatically has some default role to fill.

It’s common for a man to die shortly after retirement, this I believe is connected to a man loss of the positive self-image he derived from his job. He had a purpose he had a reason to live.

With the MGTOW movement and the grass eating males of Japan, I think this is going to be the biggest challenge that they face. If you want to live longer without getting married then you need to get a positive self-image from somewhere else, be it a cause that is bigger than you.

Because your NOT worth it!

The Marketing phrase “because your worth it” has been around since the mid 2000. This is just part of the ego rubbing of women that advertisers use to lubricate their purses, and made them demand that men pay more for the pleasure of their company.

Let me just do a little lesson in economics, something is worth exactly what anyone is willing to pay for it. A woman may decide her value in the sexual market equates to wining and dining, and faithful monogamy with an alpha male, but if no one is willing to buy at that price then she is NOT worth it.

The main problem is that women are starting to value themselves based on advertising fed hypergamy and by the valuation scale that they use for men. For example an assertive, intelligent women with a successful career in her 30’s, thinks she is worth a man with slightly better traits at least. The problem is you don’t buy grain with grain, a man like that is looking for a hot feminine women in her 20’s and he has the values that she is looking for in exchange (this is a good deal).

All her career and confidence are either completely invisible to the guy or a negative when it comes to considering her as a partner.

In this day and age there is millions of post wall women, desperately trying to find a man now that their value has dropped through the floor, despite all the time they spent investing in their careers that no man give a hoot about.

So as far as business goes I believe this demographic is just going to get bigger and bigger and what with their large incomes and willingness to spend. I predict we will see more and aggressive ‘because your worth it marketing’ aimed at the post wall women.

If you want invest in shares in the future go for, cosmetic surgery, matchmaking services, cat toys (any child replacement stuff), fertility treatment, pre-punctured condoms manufactures (built for maximum leakage). Anything that pander to this wealthy, growing demographic.

Online dating versus PUA training

We should shame ‘Single mothers’!

If a women chooses to have child, without the fathers consent and cannot support it herself. We should shame her. Now I’m not talking about mother where their husband have left them or died. I’m talking about this situation where a women (who has all the control in the world) has got herself pregnant and decided to keep it knowing full well that someone else would bear the cost.

What wrong with Single mothers? 

Well lots. Lets look at what are arguable the three biggest problems in the world today: over population, the economy and the environment.

You might pick three other things, but I pick these three because these are the ones that are most likely plunge us into the dark ages and possible kill us all. That my reasoning, your welcome to your own.

Okay let me in first connect the dots here. Single mothers are producing children they cannot support, the point they are producing children at all add the over population part of the equation, the children produced in single parent families are much less likely to be productive members of society.

Here is some cheery stats:

• 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes
• 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes
• 85% of all children who show behavior disorders come from fatherless homes
• 80% of rapists with anger problems come from fatherless homes
• 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes
• 75% of all adolescent patients in chemical abuse centers come from fatherless homes
• 85% of all youths in prison come from fatherless homes.

This is where it add to the economic side of the equation, the government is having to support these single parent families rather than pay off our big arse debts. Secondly the children raised in these families are much less likely to be productive members of society.

Not to mention the father in the majority of these situations the father are robbed of the chance of raising a child on term that he would have liked, often leaving him  demoralized and unable to afford to start a more conventional family and less likely to bust his gut in his career just to give the money to a kid he never see and a women who ruined his life.

This is on the increase, here is the breakdown over the years:

The environmental thing really just connect to over population.

So I declare we SHOULD shame single mothers.

(Without the fathers consent and an inability to support it herself)

Okay sounds horrible right. However if you agree with the premise that this is a problem and this is on the increase and without something being done, we are most likely going to end up in a country / world in a complete mess. At some point we will need to do something about it. Here are the other options that spring to mind:

Forcing sterilization / abortions. 

Well we can’t afford them, we can’t feed ourselves any more. We need to stop them before the kid is born. You can either start sterilizing people and get them to apply to have it reversed or we can start state enforced abortions.

Leaving children to starve in the street. 

Stop all funding to help children and let them starve in the streets. This is already pretty common place in 3rd world countries and we know how pretty that looks.

Start killing people.

People are getting in this nasty habit of living longer and longer these days and if we are pumping out more and more kids that are just so damn cute. then we need to get rid of some of the people that kicking around. We could do this on a merit based system, money based system or just get rid of anyone over a certain age. Sally Gearheart (Previous head of gender studies at  San Francisco State University)  believes:

The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race. — Sally Miller Gearhart

That would go some way to reducing the problem, but I can see a couple of issue with that.

Okay so if your a sane human you probably don’t like the sound of any of those solutions.

Evolution has always had restrictions on population growth and the most successful animal would be the ones that would hit the best balance between amount of offspring and the chances of their survival.  So if food was sparse a bird would only have a couple of eggs since the chances to 2 well fed children surviving would be much higher survival than 10 starving ones and on top of that in the wild if you couldn’t provide for your children they died.

This system still applies to humans, resources will limit our survival, it just the whole horrible reality of the situation that is not realized yet. We have not had to watch the children starve with our own eyes.

In our world the state has stepped in and basically provides for children in the occasion that the women can not, this has effectively removed the fear of her children death, allowing her the luxury of having as many children as she wants. Yep she might not live in a life of luxury but if her driving force  is to reproduce then she can do it.

Stuff like this I think is really dangerous:

Again the women with tons of cash, or lesbian couples or people with a great family support system. These people are taking responsibilities are okay in my book (unless it against the father wishes). But ‘shaming’ I consider really a call for these women to take responsibility for their actions. Kids cost a lot of money, kids brought up without a support system are much more likely to be messed up and you are dragging everyone else into the equation at the same time.

These are some things that I think would have a good thinks that could help:

• Remove any stigmatization around abortion and passionately call out anyone who is pro life, anti abortion. These people are leading us to a much more likely armageddon than any of their religions predicts.
• Men, wear a condom. Getting her pregnant can ruin your life just a bad as any STD.
• But above all else, stop any one blocking the male pill. Giving men extra power over who they get pregnant will go a long way to helping sort out this problem.

There always an alpha dog

There are a couple of points I would like to clear up when it come to the definition of ‘Alpha Male’ in the animal kingdom where you have a group of animals that work as a collective (usually hunting packs) you will always have an ‘Alpha’ the one in charge this could vary in gender usually dependent on the child rearing responsibilities common to that animal. But for all effective purposes  each animal would be a member of only one pack, and that pack’s ‘Alpha’ would change over time this would charge usually with the aging alpha being dethroned by a competitor.

Human are different for one reason, we exists in multiple packs during our life time.  Even during a single day you might have to function in multiple packs (work, family, past times…) these all function effectively as packs, where at one point you will have one alpha, appropriate to the situation.

Your ranking in each pack will vary.

Most Dating / PUA material has the concept of everyone becoming an Alpha male as if it’s a set of behaviors that once mastered you receive your Alpha male badge and all women are naturally attracted to you.

Then all the Alpha males can hang out together in a group and not bother talking to the Betas! Well that not really the way it works, when every you get a group together we naturally form a pecking order no matter how macho you are or how nerdy. Any group will have a alpha.

Take these made up examples:

So want a surefire way to become a Alpha male? Just join a group of people who are considerable more Beta than you. 

Joking aside I hope this helps clear up what the definition of being a Alpha male is. It’s not all the chest puffing, faking confidence, aloof arsehole. It’s about being the person that the others look to for leadership, be it through competence, intelligence  respect or more often being the guy who has taken the role and put in the effort.

There is always, always an alpha dog, even in a pack of poodles.

Reasons you should go to a Fetish club!

Okay this blog talks a lot about how to become better at dating coming from the self improvement ‘becoming an alpha male’ point of view. This is something that might seem a little bit outside that remit, but stick with me.  I think all men at some point in their lives should go to a fetish club and I have a lot of good reasons.

1. It will completely destroy any nagging preconception that women don’t like sex!

Standard dating is based around the idea that men are the pursuers and women are the pursued. Most men start out with the concept that  men want sex and women don’t. This is starting to change a bit, but still as a young guy in the back of your head you think that men desire sex more than women. Usually most men who manage to lose this mind set is the kind of guy who has slept with a lot of beautiful women.  The PUA method of flipping the script is based around this, letting the women chase you. But to do this and be congruent with it, you need to understand that women want sex too, big time. The only difference is women are biologically programmed to only want it  from the best men possible, men are biology programmed to want it from every fertile looking women.

The reason why a fetish club does this better than anywhere else is because you experience it. It is completely accepted to everyone there. It is sooo in your face that after a couple of hours you would be completely acclimatized to it. You will be standing around chatting the most filthy acts, like you we’re talking about filling out your taxes.

2. Damm the women are hot.

This is what the average women look like in a normal club:

This is what the average women looks like in good quality fetish club:

Or like this:

Seriously that is what most women look like. The reason being, you don’t get let in if your not prepared to wear something like that and if you don’t think you can pull it off you simple don’t go. You don’t have girl throwing their birthdays parties at fetish clubs, because 90% of their mate wouldn’t have the guts to come, primarily because they have to be that confident in their looks to pull this stuff off. Okay admittable these are models from Clairesville Boudoir Photoshoot in Birmingham  (Thanks for letting me use the picture girls love your stuff).

But believe me the standard is so much higher. (The exception here are the hard core play clubs, they tend to be more varied because it’s about the play more than the look).

3. People can be much more open about their preferences.

In normal clubbing, dating, sarging whatever. It’s strange to talk about sex, on first meeting people. Usually you have to work your way up about it. Some couple have been dating for years and never really talked about their sexual preference since it a bit of a weird conversation.

But at fetish clubs it’s easy. This drops one of the biggest taboos, 90% of women want to be dominated. 90% of women are turned on by a dominate man. Just look at the record sales of the 50 shades of grey (it’s a rip off of Story of O). The vast majority of women are turned on by a dominate male. In a normal club, this is taboo, women would blush push you away, call their protector males, if you try and be too dominate (Unless you have got really good game and can pull it off). In a fetish club you can straight out ask the women what they want and as long as it consensual you can do usually do it there and then.

Some of the stuff is breath taking.

4. It desensitizes you to beautiful naked women

Sex can be a nerve racking thing, especially if the women is hot. The two most common reason men fail to perform well in the sack is because the get to excited and cum too quickly or they get nervous and your sympathetic nervous system put you in fight or flight mode and as Wikipedia puts it:

The stress response halts or slows down various processes such as sexual responses and digestive systems to focus on the stressor situation and typically causes negative effects like constipation,anorexia, erectile dysfunction, difficulty urinating, and difficulty maintaining sexual arousal.

Simply put being in bed with a incredible beautiful women can make it hard to get a hard on if you are not used to it.

Where in this day and age do you get to stand around and chat with tons of near naked beautiful women (common outfit consist of just a mask to hide the women identify). If your regularly invited to the playboy mansion then that fine but most of us aren’t. The only other place I can think of is strip clubs, but to me the point that the women are being placed on such a pedestal is mentally quite an unhealthy thing.

5. People are so much nicer than normal clubs

Seriously people at fetish club are some of the nicest people you’ll meet. In normal club any idiot can get in, all the men are usually acting super macho to impress women. Fetish clubs are completely different, there is a feeling of acceptance and that the bar has been raise.  The people who come are usually pretty well educated, interesting unconfirmists, who all know their is quite a high level of trust required for you to be there.

Also the because the people tend to be more confident and people have stuff to talk about, people don’t feel the need to get blind drunk.

There are a lot of different type of fetish clubs, they all vary in the kind of night. I’m lucky enough to live in London so I have a pick of a lot of interesting night, their tend to vary from night like Torture garden which is much more about the clothes, to the kinky saloon which is more about fun sort of arts and craft  to some of the more extreme cubs that are based around play (i.e. more hard core bondage and S&M stuff like Decedence.

If you don’t know anyone to go with their are informal social meetup to introduce newbie to the scene called munches all over the world, join up at fet life (sort of fetish Facebook)  to find one close to you.

Any questions just drop a comment.

Tally peacocking like a twat

Hey you PUA Mystery method disciples out their have you run out of big furry hats, Gothic jewelry and patch work pants? Need something to out peacock the rest f the guys in the bar? Why not try Tally, the motorized tail which reacts to your heart beat to tell everyone how excited you are?

Check out the video here

This will definitely get people opening you. Because women love a man that dresses like a twat.

The Wile E. Coyote Moment – Women hitting 30

As we covered in a previous post about sexual market value, women have this sharp cliff like drop in value around the age of 30 this we refer to as the Wile E. Coyote Moment. It come in about here, it would vary depending on how well the women looks after herself:

The girls from Garfunkle and Oates did a great song about it here. Enjoy!

Concentrate on what is within your circle of control

In the world today their is a lot of stuff to worry about. The economy is going to pot, feminism is ruining relationships and is adding to the whole economy problem. Then on top of this the environment that probable going to kill us all if the nuclear war doesn’t first. Now recently I’ve been watching a lot of scary shit on youtube and their is a lot of scary shit on youtube. I was tempted to post some of it here. I think it’s important to know this stuff, it all about living in the real word.  All come under understanding the world in my how to be an alpha male section.

However there is a flipside to this. First of all I’m taking for granted your primary goal in life is ‘To Be Happy’ if it’s not you need help. To be happy at some point you need to take responsibility and control of what you consume, not just food and drink. I’m primary talking about information(Even though the food and drink stuff is important to). First of all check out this sketch Bill hicks did back in 1990.

TV, News and advertising want to scare you, it needs to depress and shock you, it main goal is to keep you engaged and scaring people is so much easier then amusing or titillating them. A lot of this stuff is worth being scared about to, a lot of these problem could come to pass. But if you primary goal is ‘To Be happy’ you are going to need to draw a line about what you are going to worry about and in my opinion this line should be your circle of control (i.e. what you have active control over).

And the way to do this is to control what input comes into your system. This are my generally rules (which recently I’ve been failing to live up to):

• Never watch the news / read news papers (Important news your real friends can tell you)
• Attempt to reduce the amount of advertising I consume.
• Don’t associate / hire compulsory miserable people.
• I Try to concentrate on consuming stuff that I find funny, actually useful to me, or fun (usually nerdy stuff).

This doesn’t mean I’m living in some kind of illusion ignoring reality. It actually means the opposite in a a strange way, since I’m controlling the sources of information that I input I have a greater ability to judge them on their own merit. Also I’m selecting the information that will help me make decisions on things that I can actually effect.

For example, I don’t vote. I see it as a pointless activity, on the odd occasions I have voted I have thrown the vote away to the green party. I don’t vote for a number of reasons, but the main one is I believe it will have no determinable effect on my life.  But with the half an hour it takes me to vote plus the 10+ hours I should put into getting myself educated to the level where I would consider myself informed enough to vote. I can achieve a lot which would be of benefit to myself, my family and I people care about.  In the UK the we have 2 very similar parties and their too scared to actually do anything. In practice I’m making a decision who face I would enjoy seeing on the telly and in newspapers more  (both of which I try my best to avoid).

Now I’m already considerable more educated than 90% of the country populous, have a good understanding of economics and psychology and run a business. I should be a person who cares what goes on in politics. But I don’t, because it is outside of my circle of control. I’ll rant it about it but that because I find that fun.  But that half an hour, I would have spent voting I can effect stuff within my circle of control and improve my life. Maybe in future my circle of control will expand to the point where politics will be if interest to me, but until then I’ll keep my half an hour and do something more interesting thank you.

My main point is you are responsible for your own happiness and a lot of this is due to the inputs that go into your life. Investing your time and energy into things you have control over is a lot more effective then, just lets the scaremonger decide what you should be thinking .

So take stock of what your inputs are into your life. On a day to day basis this is going to have a bigger effect on your happiness. I’ll leave you with this fantastic TED speech on happiness by Shawn Anchor about how you actually function better the happier you are: