Jack: dating advice for a guy you used to be obese

This is part of my dating advice clinic

So next up is Jack. Jack is 27 never had a relationship and spent most of his life morbidly obese. He’s unemployed, pretty nerdy and and his last sexual encounter he paid for.

Okay this sounds pretty sad right…. 

Well it’s not a cheery story to start with, but that only half the story.

This guys actually has a pretty damn good foundation to start with. He’s 6’4 and from the the picture I saw of him he’s not bad looking face wise. He’s just got a M.S. in chemistry, which is a proper science and not some stupid arse art degree. He is also losing the weight and putting on muscle pretty fast.

Now I’ve forgotten where I got this from, but bear in mind getting in shape can really give you 2 points on the attractiveness scale. Check this guy out:

(This is some guy I found on a body building forum, I kept them since I found them motivating.) This makes one hell of a difference. Getting jacked can seriously up your attractiveness by 2 points. If Jack get his body fat ratio down to 18% at 6’4 with not a bad looking face, add a bit of dress sense. This is one hell of a foundation.

If on top of this he gets a job and moves out from his parents house, then his is in a much better situation.

Jack’s biggest problem is going to be this:

Lack of confidence stemming from 15 years as morbidly obese and 1 year as normal fat. The lack of confidence positive feedback loop also  drove me to being an introverted nerd. 

Unfortunately even if he becomes super jacked, has a great job, flat and dress sense. It’s going to take time for his internal reality to catch up. He is still going to see himself as nerdy fat kids, he is going in the right direction.

First thing let me address this:

I had to pay for my last sexual encounter(i know embarrassing, it was my only one).

I have absolutely no problem with the idea of paying for sex and you shouldn’t either. Your helping the girl out, your getting hot sex, your also having fun. I urge you Jack to not give crap what anyone thinks about that. If everything is consensual then it fine, good even since it would help desensitizing you to beautiful women, plus give you an unconscious  moral boost. Unless you start beating yourself up about, it’s fine as long everything was consensual.

I wouldn’t recommend you do it again though. These are my reason why:

• It’s expensive, (relationships are usually slightly cheaper, slightly)
• You will lose your motivation to improve yourself.
• Hiring prostitutes, combined with no self improvement does not end well.

The money would be a lot better spent on seeing a psychologist, in the long term this would be a lot better investment. You have self image problem that need to be worked through. Lot of that should be helped by the generally getting your life sorted. The multiple relationship section will require a number of post to get through, but the main thing is not to despair you are in a very lucky position compared to most guys, your problems are all square within your ability to fix and you are already on your path to fixing them.

The main thing is be proud of what you have achieved so far. If you send me a dating profile I’ll go over it. But kudos keep it up.

1 year from now you could be crazy fit, tall good looking, good job, living in a fine city. Then you just need to make sure that your internal image of yourself start to catch up with that.

This was part of the dating advice posts I’m doing. If you would like me to give you some advice. You can read my primary post here. Or just fill out the form here:

Xinner, dating, wanting commitment with Aspergers

This is part of my dating advice clinic
Okay Xinner gave me a chunk of stuff to work with. But to break it down here is his ‘stats’. 27 year old, not bad looking guy 5’9 lives in Dominican Republic, Santo Domingo.

The reason I picked Xinner to cut my teeth on is because he has something I find very interesting ‘Aspergers’ now I’ve been out winging with a guy once who had Aspergers and he was a machine from a PUA point of view.

Aspergers is as much of a blessing as it is a curse. Most people start of with a whole bunch of cognitive biases and are so deluded by their emotions, which is often the main cause of any problem they have.  I see someone with Aspergers as a blank canvas they start with none of these biases but they also start with none of advantages. Xinner said in his form:

I’m an ASPERGER that has learnt to adapt, changing the bad aspects of it, and using the positive ones to my favour. *(took me 3-4 years of hard work)

Now I’m no expert in Asperger’s and so this really is from should not be taken as gospel.

But the important thing here is Xinner goals:

 My dream life would be either to have a perfect relationship where there’s no infidelity or cheating, and a lot of respect.  If I don’t find that, then I want the whole opposite. Lots of sex and different girls and pussy.

Now I’m going to concentrate on the first one the prefect relationship. If you want the Lots of sex with different girls then I recon you could achieve this easily, just stick the mystery method, pre scripted routines will do you well, keep watching keep calibrating. Make sure your logistic are good so on. You could be a beast, confuse the fuck out of women with your natural aloofness. Keep taking your cue from body language and take everything they say with a pinch of salt.

But I don’t think that in the long run, this is going to make you happy. You also said this:

I’ve sacrificed 40% of my nerdness to open my eyes and I’ve added a lot of versatility to my personality. To the point that I can be in any given environment or with any type of girl and simply adapt myself to it and behave like it is my own territory. I learn fast…really fast (thanks to my Asperger issue)

The reason why this worries me is because at the heart of this, needs to be what would make YOU happy. If you are sacrificing nerdiness in order to explore the world and understand everything better and see what else you might enjoy then that great. If you are sacrificing you nerdiness because:

1. You think that you should get married and have kids because society expects it of you.
2. You think that real men screw lots of women

Then that sad and will lead nowhere good. It’s the difference to be internal referenced and externally referenced. If you are looking outside of yourself for validation then you rarely be able to live up to it.

So really consider why you want to bother with women. These are creature that runs by a completely different set of rules, which the logic is dumbfounding.

So you have the option to be a happy nerd, surround yourself with obsessive nerd friends. I’m a nerd, lots of my favorite people are, and in my opinion a lot of Alpha males are.  A lot of the time men look to women to provide them with a positive self-image, if you are doing this you will always be tied to whatever her whim is at that point.

But if you’re sure you still want to do this read on:

Bear in mind guys without Asperger are confused as hell by women too, so you are not alone in this you may even have an advantage.

The problem when working with a trial and error system (like you are) you need a lot of goes.  With pick up this is fine, however with a relationship since they take longer and you don’t have as many chances to fail, this is bad.

Worse still you are not going to be able to rely directly on her feedback, i.e. what she says. Even her body language isn’t going to be reliable, since women moods change of a number of reasons, for example women dress more slutty when they are ovulating.

All I’m going to try and do here to my best ability is give you method to see when you are doing well (that should hopefully give you some ability to do some trial and error within the relationship, without having game over) and to try and give you a frame work of the way the women mind works.

Let’s start with basics of how the woman mind works.

Women will be rating you on a subconscious level on these factors Value, Security, and Fun. Value is what perceived value you have. Men and women calculate value in different ways. This is a graph I did for another post of how terrible feminism is.

Security is how secure she feel that you will stay around and look after her. Fun is how much she actually enjoys your company.

Value too low: She will leave you because she thinks she can do better.
Security too low: She will leave you thinking she is wasting her time because you will not commit.
Fun too low: She will leave out of boredom.

So if we imagine these as stats, like in a computer game. Now different girls have different requirements, usually dependent on different things. Women in their teens to early 20 will be more interested in fun, women late 20s will be looking for value, the older a women get see will want more security (primarily because her value would have dropped considerable).  But women in general will vary a lot.

PUA and ‘game’ is primarily based around faking high value and bringing the fun so that you can get a woman into bed. It is less help in a relationship, where anything faked will be quickly seen through.

To keep a high value girl, you are probably going to have to be high value. DHV stories and furry hats won’t work.

Okay back to the stats. For a strong relationship what you really want to do is keep all these stats as high as possible. So just do actions that increase the stats, simple eh.

Well no.

The problem is these values are all in her head so they are perceived values, which she is going to calculate by looking at your actions and the way the world treats you. For example lets give a simple thing you can do.

Buying flowers for a women. Now this will say to her I am very much invested in you, I want this relationship to work, and therefore I will do sappy things to make you happy. Bang, +5 to your security score great. But it also says that you think that you are not good enough on your own i.e. you think you are too low value for her and therefore need to close the gap. So you effectively get -5 from your perceived value.

In the reverse say cheating on her, this could effectively do the opposite. -20 to security (your clearly not that committed) but +20 to value (you have options).

Now women are naturally hypergamous, so they are looking to get higher value than themselves and the since women are calculating their worth by what value man they can get sleep with them (which is considerable higher than the value of a man they would be capable of get into a committed relationship with) they perceive there personal value as very high.

Plus you probable want a young and hot woman; they are the worse the value they place on themselves is through the roof, since society is constantly reinforcing this.

10 times as many relationships end through the women, on an unconscious level, calculating that they can do better and then engineering a reason for the relationship to end. They may use multiple excuses, I don’t think we are right for each other, I see you more as a friend, or just creating arguments out of seemly nothing.

This is rationalizing after the fact.

But the fact remains there are hundreds of stories of women staying with men that are bastard, and rationalizing why they want to stay with them “yes he hit me but I love him”.

Rihanna’s value is through the roof, but she keep going back to the guy who smashes her face in!

This is simple to explain under this system, it’s the reverse. Treating women like a piece of shit is being translated as he is super high value. Then they are just rationalizing after the fact that they ‘love’ them and using that as an excuse to the world why they stay with them.

Okay now I’m not telling you the way to keep a woman is to beat her. What I’m saying is you need to be aware of how the system works. You say that you want good women, who you can love trust and so on. Unfortunately all women run by these rules albeit on an unconscious level.

The example that you see where it has work out, is where the man is of high value and the women has treated him well.

Breeding has always been a risk for women, sleeping and committing to a man who was unable to protect and provide for her would likely mean death in the past.  So they play by these rules, ignore the rules of the game at your own peril. Don’t hate the players, hate the game.

However what you can be a little reassuring is as women get older their option shrink and it is easier for you to live up to their required value.

You can improve your chances by doing any of these things:

• Legitimately increase your value as much possible, earning power, physical fitness, social confidence / competence, increase your social status.
• Pick a woman from a social circle which is not full of high value men, you will be compared to the men she associates with most of the time. Picking a nurse or a teacher is a good call because these are primarily female populated jobs. The bar she will hold you against will be lower.
• If you can find one, pick a nerdy women, shared interest could really build a bond between you. The more you have to sacrifice your own happiness to fit her more the more miserable you will be.
• Win over her friends, her friends judgment of you matters.
• The way you describe El Caribe“Lots to cheating, hot girls, hot weather, lots of beaches and bitches too. Relationships are not taken too seriously here. It’s like everyone does everyone.”  Clearly you already understand that this environment is going to cause you problems. Move away as soon as possible, especially if you marry.
• Learn to control the frame and talk about yourself in a positive light. If you think you’re worthless she will agree with you.
• Picking a women who parents are still together massively increase the chances that you won’t divorce.
• Frame Asperger’s as if it makes you fucking super human. In a relationship you cannot hide the fact that you have Asperger’s, but learn to be damn proud of it, even a little arrogant. As a man victim hood is a complete turn off. Remember to mention the long list of super achiever who have Asperger (Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Friedrich Nietzsche), never let it get framed as a weakness, she should be damn lucky to find a guy with Asperger and you feel sorry for the other guys who don’t have your advantage.
• Also you kind of have age against you. Men value tends to start to peak at around 30.
• Learn to look after your finances (one of the most unfortunate realities that most people don’t want to admit is that a successful relationship is often underpinned by financial stability [Read Rich Dad, Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki]). Women would not date a guy without a job for any period of time, no matter how good looking/funny he is (this just indicates how important finances are in most instances).
• The lower value woman you date, the more you should be able to trust her.

So that my advice on how to play the game. This is next bit is slightly harder. How to tell if you are doing well or badly.

Now first thing as I mentioned women moods change. You need to think of them like the weather, some days they will be good some days they will be bad. You need to be more like a rock that weathers the storm. Perceived value is the golden rule, her mood at any one time is less accurate indication.

The best indication of your value is the investment she is making, i.e. the more time and effort she is putting into the relationship. The more investment the better you are doing, the less investment she is valuing you less.

I would like to leave you with talking about this bit though.

“Right now not as good to be honest. I thought I was on the right track, but caught my girl hiding things again,  <_<.  Not doing bad things, but just hiding things, which for me, means a lot, because it makes me not trust her. IF you hide 1 you hide 2. And then you hide 3.”

Firstly you clearly are on the right track you are tracking your progress and you are improving.  But If I was you I would try not to get too worried about this. It in itself it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you get more worry about it she will hide more stuff from you. You need to not sweat the small stuff, she just as likely to be embarrassed about something as she is to be cheating on you.

It could be a problem, but until you are sure, don’t let it bug you. High value guys aren’t spending their time worrying about women leaving them. If you cannot trust her she won’t be able to trust you. Unfortunately you need to be the vulnerable one and lets your guard down. You may get hurt, but that life.

I hold it true, whate’er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
‘Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all. 

– Lord Tennyson’s

This was part of the dating advice posts I’m doing. If you would like me to give you some advice. You can read my primary post here. Or just fill out the form here:

Do alpha males have to be physically stronger?

Short answer: No.

Long answers: The definition of Alpha male is pretty much the leader in it’s simplest form, the person that everyone looks to for guidance and who they follow instruction from. The requirement to lead in the wild would have been determined via fighting, this is no longer true. Here for example of what is a less stereotypical but very Alpha males by today’s standards.

Bill gates

Thinking about his life the innervation he brought forward. Yes he’s a Nerd and yes he is rich. But he built one of the most successful company of all times and beta’s simple do not do that. Yes he is smart, but without being a risk taker innovative. And yes their might not be stories of him screwing super models, and his wife might not be that hot now. But just take a look at his daughter:

She must have been pretty damn hot in the past to produce that. Take a look at Bill and see how he tallies up against the Alpha male traits page.

Having said that Alpha often are in very good shape, how physically fit you are usually means that you show some of the traits that are listed under the how to be an alpha male page. To become physical fit you need to understand what actions effect your fitness levels (dietary requirements, the amount of exercise required and the correct type for your goals) this show a high level of understanding yourself. Also once you understand it you need to actually do it which requires a lot of will power hence becoming the master of yourself.

Slut walks, what a bloody joke!

Slut walk are designed to reclaim the word slut, and to prevent ‘slut shaming’ that has become such an epidemic these days. Fighting the double standard where a man who sleeps around is a stud but if a woman does the same thing she is a slut.

It also to fight the horrible horrible idea that women, who dress sexually provocatively, might just might attract sexual attention. And you know what some bastard men have the audacity to advise women that not dressing so sexually provocatively might protect them from the dreaded rape. Like the stereotypical father who seeing his daughter getting ready to go out for a night drinking, becomes concerned, when he notices she dress like a hooker.

Also it’s often used as a method of raising awareness of rape as a bad thing and how lots and lots of effort a money should be put into protecting women from it!

The whole things start to fall apart when you spend even a little time deconstructing it.

No one is pro rape

Seriously this is not a split issue; there is no group of people who think rape is a good thing. Everyone is against it, occasionally it’s used in off colour jokes, but it used in this manner exactly because everyone thinks it’s terrible. It’s used exactly for its shock value (however even now feminist comedians want this stopped).

Marching through the street in your underwear with signs saying how bad it is, is not swaying the undecided masses.

Slut shaming overwhelmingly comes from women

This requires a little bit of explanation. Women are the ones that hate sluts and for good reason. It’s a simple supply and demand, men desire sex and women have controlled the supply. Now in order to keep the prices as high as possible women need to restrict the supply, i.e. they need to prevent other women giving away sex too cheaply.

Slut shaming allow women to restrict the supply and to push up the price (i.e. what men would do in exchange for sex). One women who will sleep her way around a group would very quickly reduce the value of sex that all the other women could demand.

 Feminist theory almost always harks back to male oppression, and so the cultural suppression of female sexuality reflected men’s desires to dominate women, possess them, and/or prevent them from finding sexual fulfillment. In both cases, the cultural suppression of female sexuality should come from men.

Yet the evidence overwhelmingly indicated that the cultural suppression of female sexuality is propagated and sustained by women. Only sexual economics theory predicted that result. Similar to how OPEC seeks to maintain a high price for oil on the world market by restricting the supply, women have often sought to maintain a high price for sex by restricting each other’s willingness to supply men with what men want.

Sexual Economics, Culture, Men, and Modern Sexual Trends
Roy F. Baumeister and Kathleen D. Vohs – The Florida State University

It’s actually backed up by reality!

If someone suggested that you locked your car and didn’t leave the keys in the ignition because this might reduce the chances that it get stolen, would you stand up start shouting at them for limiting your freedom and demand your car had a constant police escort to protect it at all times.

No because it’s stupid, you would see the connection between the two action and take ownership of the problem to lower your chances of the bad thing happening. You can’t just demand that the reality changes to suit you.

You are attacking the people who are actively trying to protect you.

Think about it who do they think they are protesting against? The characters of the misogynist leering creepy man, is total pro sluts, hey be as slutty as you want, those guys are totally supporting you. Actually if you been really really slutty and just sleep with everyone, then rape would disappear over night.

Actually this one I’m a bit lost on. Maybe it for the benefit of the government in order to get more funding. This whole thing seems a little badly thought out.

As far as I can tell women want to dress sexy because it raises their value (with all the danger effectively removed), whilst at the same time by promoting sluttiness they are effectively lowering the price they can  demand.

This just seem like a feminist grappling for some kind of victim hood rights. But one things for sure now guys it is completely okay to call  any woman a slut, it’s a positive things now.

Dating Advice, The Makeshift Alpha Dating clinic!

Getting actually useful dating advice is not easy. Ask your friends, they’ll say whatever will cheer you up. Magazines pump out vague generalities to appeal to the largest readership possible and real world specialist that are worth a damn are rare to say the least. This is where Dr Makeshift comes in.

I’m going to do a clinic (well at least until I’m bored of it). If you take the time to fill out what is a pretty hefty survey, I will give you a honest no holes barred appraisal of your situation plus advice on what your best options are.

Why should you listen to me?

1. I’m remaining anonymous: My decision to remain anonymous gives me a lot of benefits. But the main benefit to you is I don’t have to worry about offending you, I can afford to be completely honest. I don’t need to sugar coat anything, I don’t need to worry about you screaming at me, threats of violence, so on. No real world ramification for me. Useful honest information for you.
2. You remain anonymous: Unless you specifically want to be associated with this, I’m not going to out you. Their is no reason for me to, you can check back through all the case files to see that I’m honest to my word.
3. My diagnosis is open to public scrutiny: I’m going to write a post about your situation, along with my advice. If people consider it rubbish, they can comment, Google note me, write a blog post having a go, whatever. I rarely moderate my comments, occasionally I will if I think they add nothing.
4. I’m not trying to up sell you anything:  Presently I’m doing this mainly for my own benefit and to generate interesting content. I might add some thing in the future but not at the moment. I don’t want to sell you extra counseling session, make sure you subscribe or anything. That might change. But to be honest if I think you need to see a psychologist, that going to be the first thing I say. Heck I’m not even charging for the service at all at the moment. I might add in some queue jumping options in exchange for a donation.

Wow!
First off I want to thank you for taking that amount of time and effort to really analyse my profile, obviously I’m grateful for ANY feedback but you really went the extra mile. thanks 🙂

Don – Wales

What qualifies me to give you advice?

I could say a number of things here. A lot of personal experience, my study of psychology and evolutionary biology, the point I have been active in the PUA scene for years, my need for testing, my adherence to logic and what I believe is a relatively clean lens that I see the world through. Also I did this for quite a while for a popular internet dating site.

But all this is highly subjective. I urge you to make your mind up for yourself. My writings are clear here, if you think what I say make sense then give me a shot, if you think I sound like a mad man then please don’t waste my time. Even though I have chosen to keep my identity private, my thought processes and opinions are far from it.

Go on you know you want to! What’s the worst that can happen.

Makeshift is right and he gave a good critique and I agree with him.

– Lioness

Thanks for all the advice, I’ll get to editing now!
Would you mind having another look when I’ve finished?

Shelley – Bristol

I hate paying taxes!

In the past I had no problem with taxes. I believed I was helping out my country. I was contributing to a society and I was getting a pretty good deal. I lived in a safe society, we had good roads, had a good education, if I got ill I got looked after, paid for peacekeeping missions all around the world.

My view point has drastically changed over the last couple of years.

I hate where most my taxes are going. I feel I am paying to make this society activity worse with the barrel of a gun pointed at my head to make me do it.

Now my view point has changed

• I see education as noneffective with a feminist bias.
• I see the NHS as confused and struggling under red tape.
• I see our military movement oversees as profit mongering.

But this isn’t actually the bit that drive me mad and makes me want to opt out. The bit makes me want to say fuck it, I’ll shut down my company and go live in a wood cabin somewhere is warfare and the continued support of single motherhood.

Recently the new inquiry published an article by Madeleine Schwartz that included this section:

There is nothing wrong with teenage or single motherhood. The things children need: economic livelihood, emotional support and an education, are not dependent on a nuclear family structure. … A couple cannot raise a child better than one can. Once we get rid of the idea that marriage is the privileged form of cohabitation and that women cannot raise children without the help of a man—ideas that the Left has been working to eradicate for decades—there is no reason that a teen should not be financially and emotionally assisted for her choice to have a family. The potential diffusion of the family (as the New York Times recently reported, it doesn’t look like the trends will stop anytime soon) is one of the most exciting things … since sexual liberation.

This article goes on to say:

What’s frightening about a teen mother is that her existence defies the patriarchal structure. It’s not only that teen mothers reproduce when poor, or uneducated. They haven’t conformed to the institutional model of marriage.

This is so so wrong, and completely misses the points. The problem with teen mothers, single mother or jobless couples having kids is that they cannot AFFORD them and at that point the government steps in and foots the bill. Where do they get the money? They raise taxes or get us more in debt! 

Either of these things are driving businesses to leave the UK, pushing us towards a financial meltdown, destroying worker ambition since increased pay just mean more tax.

This was best described by Chateau Heartiste:

Meanwhile, I suggest aspiring single moms who wish to truly Go Their Own Way (SGTOW?) practice what they preach and divest themselves of all male support, in whatever form. That means: no redistribution from unrelated men to single moms, no corporate welfare in the form of maternity leave or flex time or special insurance policy discounts, no government handouts predicated on number of children, no shamelessness exacerbating EBT cards, no punitive alimony or child support payouts, no affirmative action for the children of single moms. In short, no sexless drone provider beta male largesse to save single moms from a self-inflicted life of indigent misery.

The system is a mess. The sensible people with good jobs, who want children and can raise them well to be productive members of society, can’t afford them because all their money is taken in tax to help the irresponsible bad parents raise children.

The 2006 film Idiocracy explained it best in my opinion:

I understand it is not a simple solution, with governments getting voted in by giving benefits to feminist agender. It is evolutionary biology to want to protect children and to serve women. But this is leading us to a path of destruction. This is why I understand and approve of Men going their own way, the men’s right movement, herbivore men and going ghost (where you disappear from the system so that you can no longer be servant to the states).

I subscribe to the philosophy of Objectivism and would like to leave you with the famous John Galt Speech from ‘Atlas Shrugged’ by Ayn Rand. Where the productive people of the world have gone on strike and society has fallen apart.

Who is John Galt?

Sexual market value over time

Sexual Market Value (SMV) is defined as the value a person has within the sexual marketplace. It has an effect much like any market place the higher your value the higher value partner you can demand.

The interesting thing is how this varies over time and gender.

So on this graph we are rating the SMV for men and women over their lifetime. 100 is the most in demand 0 is no demand at all.

Now all these stats vary, but it should be understood that woman sexual market place value is based on reproductive value and mens are on their survival traits.

So you have this case where women start off with a very high initial value, youth bumps their SMV to the highest it will ever be (minus major plastic surgery) then it stay generally high until they hit their 30’s where they have this cliff like drop off.

Men’s SMV  is much more connected to thing like confidence, power, earning ability so on. So they start getting higher value as they get into their late 20’s.

Now this is where it gets interesting, i’m going to break it down.

I’m not breaking down the women’s side since it is so overwhelmingly connected to their looks, that it would be same  curve just higher or lower on the graph depending on how attractive they are.

However the way men act in the world massively effects their SMV, so lets look at men broken down into Alpha Males and Beta Males.

So your SMV is the price you can demand in a partner. So as you can see here some common relationships:

• The average age of marriage is around 30, where the beta maless value and the female’s value start to come in line. At this point women’s options are shrinking and getting a guy to commit is important.
• Seeing a young girl hooking up with a alpha male twice her age.
• Seeing male sex symbols in his 50’s
• Tons of Beta Males in their early 20 having real problem getting a date
• Loads of women in their 30 confused where all the good men have gone.

Now we see a more realist view of the sexual market place. This visually explains a lot of things. For example:

1. Why women in their early 20 sleep around with a lot of Alpha males then reach their 30 and are shocked that the Alpha male of the same age of them have no desire to date them. Even the Beta males that they turn their nose up at 5 years ago seem very reluctant to make any real investment in a relationship with them.

2. Why women are much more interested in marriage or anything that shows a males commitment level. A women value drop steadily through their lives so a long term commitment benefits them considerable more than a man, who’s options and value does not plummet in such a dramatic manner.

3. Note the period of time that Alpha males value remains high, This means even though they are few in number they have a lot longer time to date women at the peak of the SMV.

4. It also explains why Women dating a older man, is such a usual thing, however a women dating a younger man garners such a high level of interest. Seeing a man actual commit to a woman more than 10 years older than him, is very rare and almost unheard of if the guy has any alpha trait at all.

In the UK being on the dole pays better than the average job

Question? Is it worth having a job in the UK?

Recently I was looking to decide between hiring people in the UK or outsourcing to another country. So I curious how much people get paid on benefits. So I put my details through the benefits check to see if I was unemployed how much I would be entitled to. Here is a screen shot of my results:

So I would be entitled to over £20K a year if I was on the dole. Holy crap! That took me back and I am a male, white, healthy, no dependents (i.e. A member of the least ‘worthy’ type of people in the world).

Okay now looking at what the average wage is in the UK:

Okay so lets say the average wage of someone working around 10 years in a job would be £30 K.

This is where the nasty bit kicks in, you do not get taxed on benefits.

So how much do you get taxed on £30k, here is the break down from worksmart tax calulator.

So now this mean the difference between working a job and being on the dole is £2,610.86 a year.

But wait there is more.

What about the costs involved with working?  Lets take traveling to and from work. This can vary massively depending on your journey but lets take car ownership for example. Car ownership cost on average £3000 a year.  Then lets say you need a couple of a suit a year and shirts and ties that would reasonable come to £800 a year. Now ignoring that you would probable need to spend more on food and drink. Lets say you spend £3500 extra on things necessary to do your job.

Now by working a job I would be taking home £889.14 less money then I would if I was on the dole.

And this is not at the beginning of your career, this is 10 years in!

And the real kicked is you need to work 2,085 hours and commute for around 600 hours for the privileged of  losing this money.

Now some of these stats may be off, this is my first time investigating. But you get my basic message, working in the UK is is a fool game, the smart people are on the dole.

Women no longer rate your career as a sexy thing, your far better off being a fun and interesting struggling artist, musician, writer, without the stress of your job on your shoulders. As a women  you get plenty of support from the government to help you raise your children, if you stay on the dole you can actually see them growing up.

And I as a employer, I can’t offer someone a entry level jobs which would a better deal for them then being on benefits. So it look like outsourcing is the best option.

What Women Want…Is More Sex

The title here is not meant to give sick perverts an excuse to go out and hit on unsuspecting women, so before anyone flies off in a rage, let me explain.  Woman like sex just as much as men, more so in most cases.  Is this a surprise?  Not to me it isn’t.

Modern western societal rules state that men are the sex crazed maniacs sleeping their way around as many young attractive women as possible.  Just take a look at any of the tabloid headlines and you’ll find reports of male infidelity usually amongst high profile celebrities.  Back in the real world it is actually women who seem to enjoy and have a higher appetite for sex then men.

I was interested to read an article that appeared online in the Huffington Post about a year ago.  The author Gail Konop Baker had the sense to ponder the question ‘what if women want sex more then men?’  You can read the full article here but to summarise; she concluded that men need to be sexually liberated just as women have been in the past thirty years or so in order to prevent frustration on both sides.

Baker has got half the point, but not all of it.

More women then ever are using online adult websites that give them the opportunity to grab whatever fuck buddy that takes their fancy.  The statistics speak for themselves as Experian Hitwise Data revealed that adult sites have shot up in traffic and popularity.  When you delve a little deeper, figures from the individual websites reveal that there are usually more women than men using the sites then there used to be.  Even the national media have taken notice with both the Telegraph and the Daily Mail revealing higher numbers of women using sites to conduct extra marital affairs.

Basically women are after just as much – if not more – sex then we are.  The Evening Standard even conducted a survey on men and women back in 2010 asking if men enjoyed sex more then women.  Only 1 woman out of the 5 questioned answered ‘yes’.   Not that I’m complaining, but if this is the norm, why is it not discussed more openly?

I think the answer is simple.

1. The media at large still peddles this myth that women are sluts if they are seen to be sexually active
2. A lot of women – and men – have bought into this myth making open discussion of something that both sexes enjoy anathema in many social circles.  Even though both sides secretly think it’s bollocks.

Okcupid.com one of the world’s leading online dating sites collated data from over 1.2 million female users and the results lend more credibility to the assertion that women like sex just as much if not more than men.

Confront a hard line feminist with these statistics and their response will be to snort and say ‘So? What’s the problem?’  Confront them with similar statistics when it comes to men and the response will be ‘obviously he can’t keep it in his pants.’  The sexual pendulum is swinging more and more into the woman’s favour leaving many men struggling to understand where we now fit in.   I know where I stand but many men don’t, so one thing I do agree with Baker on is this – we all need to talk more openly about sex and how much we enjoy it.

Where have all the good men gone? Feminism ate them!

Okay stupid title, this should probably be named ‘Why are so few people able to find a partner that they are happy with?’.  The first thing is to understand what kind of partner most people are looking for. This varies by sex but here is a suggestion of what most people would like:

Now let’s have a look at what effect feminism has had on these attributes.

Women are pursuing better paid careers and putting off having children.

As women have better careers their earning go up and at the same time men’s earning are effectively reduced since some of them don’t have the higher paid jobs. What this does is push up the standard of success a women is willing to settle for whilst reducing the pool of men who are capable of living up to it.

This also means that women are getting older before they are looking to settle down, so fewer men get to marry their ideal fertile women (18-25 year old) that they desire.

Women are encouraged to man up and compete with men, whilst men are encouraged to get in touch with their feminine side.

Feminism encourages women to become more militant and assertive and on the other side attacks men for showing masculine traits. This has the effect of making men more feminine and women more masculine. This destroys the natural attraction that is felt between the sexes.

Also it pushes women to become more dominant whilst men become more submissive, further reducing the sexual attraction.

It makes men, women’s enemies.

Feminism does a great job of classing men as the oppressors of women, which historically is rubbish. With the gender empathy gap, men are by their very nature biologically looking to please women and protect them. The drive for women approval is so strong in men that any evidence suggesting otherwise can buried under the thousands of examples of them trying to protect them and look after them.

Women by their nature will side with women against men; however men’s nature is also to side with the women.

By fostering this stand point women look at men and especially the ones in position of high social standing as their enemy. So this has taken the motivation away from men to get into these positions, lowering the pool of attractive men more.

Other factor: Female Obesity

Feminism isn’t the only factor that is doing this, there are some other very strong factors. For example women are getting fatter and hence the motivation for men to work hard to be the kind of men they want is lower, since there are less women worth working for.

As Cheateau Hearties puts it well:

Our typical unmarried working class man surveys his cellulite-blasted kingdom (and it does not matter how fat he, himself, is, for fat men and thin men alike prefer the exquisite sight of slender female bodies), and he makes a quick hindbrain calculation. Does he bust his ass in a crappy service sector job doing women’s work for a shot at legally bound long-term commitment to a shuffling shoggoth dragging the bastard spawn of a hundred alpha males in tow, or does he say “fuck it” and turn to video games and porn featuring hot, thin chicks for his status and dopamine fix? [Cheateau Hearties]

Other factor: Unappealing marriage

Also marriage is becoming more and more unappealing to men as a concept (See my post on reasons not to get married).

As Girlwritewhat put it:

By turning marriage into a risk for men that a compulsive gambler wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole if he had two brain cells to rub together, we’ve motivated men to be less productive than they otherwise would or could be [Owning your shit]

The main point is, if you look at the chart again. You will see that all the things that women find attractive in men (with the exception of being tall) are doing things / achievements. All the thing that men find attractive in women are kind of non-doing things / things they are born with and often lose over time.

To summaries:

• Women are getting less attractive (fatter, older and more masculine).
• Men are less motivated to put the work into become what women find attractive.
• Women standard are raising
• Feminism has fooled men into thinking women are attracted to feminine men
• Feminism changed the system to descriminating against men, making it hard for them to be what women find attractive.

So the pool of options is shirking for everyone. Depressing eh?